I was driving home to make a lunch on my lunch break when I realized we had no bread. I decided to stop by Albertsons to pick some up. While I was there I decided to get some sandwich fixings as well. **Sidenote, I had a basket in one hand, and my purse in the other** I walked around the corner and took it too fast when I lost my balance. My legs literally fell from underneath me. As I started falling I sort of regained my balance and thought, "I got this"... I spoke too soon... I ATE it on the grocery floor. I didn't have my hands because I was carrying my basket and purse so instead my knees took my fall because I was so paranoid of falling on my stomach. My basket went flying and all the contents of my purse went down a few different aisles. I sat on all fours for a few seconds before realizing I had alerted the whole Albertson's staff. I got up, collected my items and purse and reassured everyone I was fine.
I got to the checkout stand and the nice man behind the register and I had the following conversation:
Nice Man: (upon ringing up the Alfalfa sprouts) Um, Ma'm the packaging on these sprouts are a little crunched, let me go get you a new one
Me: (Realizing the sprouts probably broke my fall and wanting to get out of the store ASAP) Oh, that is unnecessary. You see I totally ate it at the back of the store and I think they broke my fall. Those are just fine.
Nice Man: How did they taste?
Me: (after a minute of awkward silence trying to figure out what the crap this man is talking about) How did what taste?
Nice Man: The sprouts...you said you ate them?
Me: Ohhhhh.... no sir, I ate it, as in, I wiped out, fell down, face planted in the back of the store. The sprouts just broke my fall.
Nice Man: ARE YOU OK? I was wondering why you were eating sprouts by themselves.
I then paid for my groceries and raced to my car. I can barely bend my legs, and tomorrow my knees are going to have some big bruises. Other then being completely humiliated, I am doing just fine. The baby is great, moving as usual.
Thank you Clumsy Gene!
10 comments:
Oh my gosh, I'm dying laughing right now Jillian! That story is so funny!
I'm so glad that you didn't fall on your tummy! I hope you're feeling okay. Take it easy. I'm starting to feel the change in balance thing. I'm so excited for your baby!
that is too funny! I am glad to know i a not the only one out there with the "clumsy gene".
Glad everyone, both you and Baby are ok.
the cashier probably thought you were in the middle of some CRAZY pregnancy cravings! but sprouts by themselves? ugh... who craves that?
you are hilarious! I love that you told the cashier " you ate it" and he took it literally. so funny..
hope you are feeling great!
Oh that is too funny...I just started laughing out loud while reading it at work! Thanks for making my day a little brighter :)
be careful! no more belly plants or knees or hands or anything. i don't like it.
That conversation is the funniest thing I've ever read. Bless his heart.
I have tears in my eyes.
Wow! Hilarious!
I have the clumsy gene too and mine gets worse when I am pregnant. In fact that is usually one of the first ways we can tell I am pregnant. If I drop something and glass shatters everywhere, we know I must be pregnant!
Let us now forget my escalator escapade.
Why couldn't I pass on my genius gene? Oh yeah...I don't have that one.
Take care of those knees and monkey boy.
Oh GiGi be careful and No more snacking in the checkout line :)
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