2012 ~ A Reflection

2012 was a big year for our family. One that we will most certainly never forget. We sold our house that we built and loved, moved away from our cherished family and friends, our sweetest angel baby Jane was born, moved to a new state, Andy started a new job and went back to school. All those things would be cause for a significant year, but even more so than that, Andy's battle with cancer tops the list. 

As I reflect back on the year part of me wants to forget it ever happened and just move forward; but at the same time I am so grateful for everything I have learned this past year. I like to think I have changed and matured and grown in my Testimony of the Gospel, of our Heavenly Father's plan for us, but mostly having faith in His plan. Throughout the past 7 months I have looked at this picture more times then I can count.

This picture was taken on the morning of July 12, 2012. I even instagramed it, with the caption ""Lazy morning in moms bed. Just enjoying these sweet babes while they are little. #stopgrowing" I remember we had plans on going to Seven Peaks. Andy got up and went to an early doctors appointment where they were going to do an ultrasound and determine where his ulcer was. He even wore his bathing suit so as soon as he came home we could leave. I was so exhausted because Jane hadn't slept well the night before and so I brought her into my bed, gave Lucas my iPad and went back to sleep for just 5 more minutes. I snapped the picture and that was that. This was the last picture I took before our life changing news. Soon after I received a text from Andy saying that the doctor couldn't quite determine what he was seeing on the ultrasound and he wanted him to get a CT scan immediately. We were both nervous, but trying to not jump to conclusions. 

Immediately I texted my sister and told her what was going on. She reassured me that everything would be fine. When the CT scan was done Andy texted me and said he was headed to meet with the doctor. I waited on pins and needles for an answer. Knowing he couldn't answer I texted him telling me to just send me a smiley face if everything was OK. Nothing. So I then began to panic. I called him multiple times when he finally sent me a text, "I am almost home".

The next few days are a blur as we went from surgeon, to oncologist and figured out the severity of Andy's condition. We cried many tears and were on our knees countless times. Now that we are a on a "pause" so to speak because we are free from treatment for a few months, I look back and am so grateful for this experience. As a family we are so much closer, we truly cherish every single moment together. We do not take for granted the small and simple things. Our marriage has been tested and strengthened as we have grown together more in love and leaned on one another throughout every high and low. 

Mostly, I am so grateful for our sweet children. We honestly could not have gotten through it without them. They gave us reason to be happy! Their smiling faces each and everyday helped me as somedays all I wanted to do was stay in bed. Our sweet Jane has had a busy first year of life, but we were so richly blessed with her sweet, strong spirit in our home. I like to believe she knew she was coming to our family and she was up for the task! 

As we move into 2013 we are excited for Jane to turn 1, we are looking forward for Andy to resume school, but we are just grateful for the new perspective on life. To not take it for granted, to laugh more,  be quick to say sorry and just enjoy our little ones while they are young. 

So Hello 2013!