The Bruce women have what is formally known as The Clumsy Gene. Definition: someone who is awkward in movement or without skill or grace. My mom has it,
Ashley has it, even little Ava has been diagnosed. Today my Clumsy Gene came out in full force.

I was driving home to make a lunch on my lunch break when I realized we had no bread. I decided to stop by Albertsons to pick some up. While I was there I decided to get some sandwich fixings as well. **Sidenote, I had a basket in one hand, and my purse in the other** I walked around the corner and took it too fast when I lost my balance. My legs literally fell from underneath me. As I started falling I sort of regained my balance and thought, "I got this"... I spoke too soon... I ATE it on the grocery floor. I didn't have my hands because I was carrying my basket and purse so instead my knees took my fall because I was so paranoid of falling on my stomach. My basket went flying and all the contents of my purse went down a few different aisles. I sat on all fours for a few seconds before realizing I had alerted the whole Albertson's staff. I got up, collected my items and purse and reassured everyone I was fine.
I got to the checkout stand and the nice man behind the register and I had the following conversation:
Nice Man: (upon ringing up the Alfalfa sprouts) Um, Ma'm the packaging on these sprouts are a little crunched, let me go get you a new one
Me: (Realizing the sprouts probably broke my fall and wanting to get out of the store ASAP) Oh, that is unnecessary. You see I totally ate it at the back of the store and I think they broke my fall. Those are just fine.
Nice Man: How did they taste?
Me: (after a minute of awkward silence trying to figure out what the crap this man is talking about) How did what taste?
Nice Man: The sprouts...you said you ate them?
Me: Ohhhhh.... no sir, I ate it, as in, I wiped out, fell down, face planted in the back of the store. The sprouts just broke my fall.
Nice Man: ARE YOU OK? I was wondering why you were eating sprouts by themselves.
I then paid for my groceries and raced to my car. I can barely bend my legs, and tomorrow my knees are going to have some big bruises. Other then being completely humiliated, I am doing just fine. The baby is great, moving as usual.
Thank you Clumsy Gene!